Encouragement

I have officially been unemployed for 5 months. I have only had a few credible job leads and so far none of these have panned out. I have continued to procrastinate with my dissertation vacillating between whether I really want to pursue this goal or to Church this vision in lieu of something else. I am happy that I have an opportunity to be licensed as a master's level clinician in 2011 but this is a long term process and may not net me a job before the middle of next year. My family is doing well. everyone is healthy, well-fed, properly clothed. My bills are paid. I certainly wish some of my credit cards were paid off but so far I am able to pay more than the minimum. I will be able to give my kids some of the things on their list. As evidenced by my last post, hubby and I are doing okay. So in short I have a lot to be thankful for.

I do, however, continue to have mini anxiety attacks, insomnia, and to sometimes experience paralyzing despair when I look at my professional life. Things were supposed to be so much better. Most of my friends are doing very well and enjoying the success I feel like I should be experiencing. I do not begrudge them anything and I am genuinely happy for their accomplishments. I just wonder wth is wrong with me.

Today, while dropping the kids off and heading to the gym I heard two messages that really encouraged me. One message by Alex Trubec reflected on the difficulty that the great patriarchs of the bible experienced usually right after a great triumph. Elijah fled from Jezebel and had a huge pity party right after he had successfully demonstrated the power of God over and above the prophets of Baal (1Kings 18:39). David became embroiled in a huge scandal involving adultery and murder after he had been successful in the past at killing Goliath and other miracles. Basically, we will go through difficulty even if we are being used by God. God will be there to restore us and to encourage us in the midst of these storms. We just have to keep pushing forward and trusting him. Failure does not mean God has forgotten you. He is there in the midst of your failure. The other message addressed the need to delight yourself in the Lord as he gives you the desires of your heart. Delight means fully immersing yourself in the knowledge of God and walking in communion with him. Both these were very encouraging to me. I don't really know how things are going to work out for me but I have to reflect on how God is presently working on my behave and have confidence that He will never leave me nor forsake me. It doesn't matter if my present situation is due to some fault in me. I have to trust him to grow me and to fulfill his purpose in my life.


Be Encouraged.