Obama Who

This was written in response to a post on blogher.com regarding the Rick Warren/Obama controversy.

What exactly is it that we are hoping for? I am stunned at the number of people who believe that in order to come together as a people we have to somehow give up who we are as individuals. Rick Warren is a Christian whose beliefs, philosphies, perspectives, opinions, and platforms are fully informed by the Bible. He believes the Word of God is inerrant, immutable, and that it serves as a manual for how Christians schould live their lives. His subsequent views on the submissiveness of women, homosexuality, and abortion flow from the Bible. Now I know stating this is blasphemous to some individuals who either reject the Bible or who opt to use it as an a la carte menu where you can choose what you like and leave the rest. His ideas don't orignially come from the Southern Baptist. They stem from the Wrod of God upon which the Southern Baptist have sought to develop their doctrines. The question is can members and supporters of the LGBT community, abortion rights advocates, and liberal pundits look beyond their issues with the Bible and its advocates and embrace Rick Warren for who he is. Isn't that true tolerance?
I find the whole Rick Warren/Obama controversy interesting b/c I am trying to figure out who exactly Obama is. He purports to be a Christian but many of his statements tend toward the more post modern type of Christianity where interpretation and application of scripture takes a backseat to his social causes (i.e. instead of accepting the actual statements regarding homosexuality you fashion a more palatable faith system that allows you not to offend political correctness). So I was shocked to learn he had asked Rick Warren to participate in the inauguration. Now for the most part I really respect Rick Warren. I think he has a special gift of remaining relevant to today's culture while not compromising his faith. So I am left wondering. Who Is Obama? Is he secretly a bible believing Christian who is attempting to secure a platform by catering to the left. Or is he more of a leftist liberal who is patronizing the conservative Right. Who Knows. If nothing else I think Obama is an expert in making both sides pay attention.

To Do Or Not To Do

While shopping for my kids this week, I did feel odd being able to give them a lot of what they wanted given our current economic times. Ifound myself continuously justifying my expenditures by saying,"My kids work really hard all year", "They deserve this", "I'm not spoiling them", "I'm actually a pretty demanding parent so they deserve some fun", etc. Each year I host a Christmas Eve celebration where in addition to reading the Christmas story from scripture we exchangegifts. I've been trying to figure out how to do this w/o embarassing my friends or family who are struggling. We decided to exchange meaningful, handmade, nonmonetary gifts during the celbration and to pass out our gifts to each other apart from this gathering. I am a little torn because the kids really look forward to the big gift exchange but as a kid who went through hard times I know what it is like to not have a bounty under the tree. Especially b/c we spend a lot of time empahsizing the real reason for the season and my kids are very aware and sensitive to the needs of others. Oh well, I've got a couple of days to figure it out.

Jennifer Hudson Tragedy

I spent the last couple of days hoping against hope that the Jennifer Hudson story would not develop into a tragedy beyond comprehension. Like a lot o you I could not stop constantly checking for updates to the story while becoming increasingly despondent as the story emerged, This was particularly poignant for me as a manger of domestic violence programs for a non=profit that specializes in addressing the specific needs of women. Lately myself and my colleagues have been involved in a never ending discussion of how to provide support for dv victims while still dealing with some of the accompanying casualties that sometimes present themselves. Specifically the children and family of these women and the impact of this tragedy on them. While I don't ever and we strongly advocate that others don't blame the victim for the violence she may be experiencing. It is often true that while they are in the process of dealing with their abuser some of their decisions do endanger their children and loved ones. Now sure it is not her fault that some wacko has a need to exert such control over her that he is often willing to hurt those she loves to hurt her. But it is a fact that she is often the one who although unwittingly, invites this abuser into the lives of those who he subsequently harms. Also, while she is attempting to gain the strength to separate, her family often rushes into protect her and thus become further embroiled in a fatal relationship dance that often has her returning over and over to the man her family has sometimes risked life and limb to help her separate from.
I know , I know. It is not her fault. Trust me I know this and it is that awareness that propels me to walk alongside women who are simply trying to regain their power. But I do cringe when she talks about her kid cowering in the door way while she is abused. Or the kid who has begun to prosper in shelter treatment withdrawing into a shell as they recognize that mommy is going back. Who is to blame for them. Or more importantly who is responsible for protecting them.
I know from personal experience that the end result of the fatal dance of dv is tragedy not only for the women but also death and destruction for her family. I also know that as you try to recover after he hurts or kills the innocent in his effort to hurt her it is hard not to look at her and scream, 'Why the hell did you not leave before this happened.'
I don't know if the Jenifer tragedy will emerge as an actual domestic violence tragedy, but I know it only graphically exacerbates the conflict that I feel as I strive to support her while trying to figure out how to help the other innocent bystanders.

Election Fatigue

I am so hoping that we could magically transport ourselves to 9 or 10 pm Nov 4, 2008 and be done with the presidential election and all the controversial propositions that are on the ballot. This has truly gone on for too long. As an independent, I am simply worn out by having to weigh the various positions of each candidate. Every time I come to a decision some late breaking news flash will cause me to have to reconsider my decision in light of the newest information. While I am certainly happy that we have access to so much information to equip us to make a more informed decision there comes a time when a lot more transforms into too much. Information overload. I am a frequent utilizer of the Internet but I am certainly not obsessed or consumed as others are. But even I sometimes feel tethered to the web and unable to avoid reading every newsworthy or often newsworthiless tidbit about the candidates. Truly this is perhaps the most exciting election in history. It is also the most historically significant election given Barack and Sarah Palin. But I can't help feeling that the country has never been more divided, the parties have never been more antagonistic , and the lines in the sand have never been more clearly drawn than now. While this is probably going to fuel the biggest voter turnout in history it is also a little scary. I often used to watch news coverage of domestic strife in other countries where members of opposing political parties or religious affiliations would become so opposed to each other's point of view and so rabidly committed to their own perspective that they would resort to violence directed toward the other side. I would snicker, chuckle and think what's wrong with those people. We here in American would never stoop so low. Well now I'm not so sure. We have heard snippets of attacks against McCain supporters and Obama supporters. Most of these have been refuted. But I don't know about you but the mere suggestion of such an occurrence is alarming. I can't help but to wonder where is this all headed.

As an independent I pride myself on being able to be objective about both sides. Now I do have very strong views on most of the pressing issues such as the economy, gay marriage, role of government, health care, abortion, education, etc. But, I also can understand people who have opposing views. I don't agree with them but neither do I think holding a particular view makes them worthy of my scorn and derision.

Living in Southern California and working in the mental health field, I have to admit that the majority of my observations regarding how radically committed people are to their views are of liberal democrats. I do however listen to Conservative radio and I can honestly say that there is no lack of myopic thinking on their part either. I often want to scream, 'Can't we all just get along?'

Let me just say I have vacillated between McCain and Obama. I tend toward McCain regarding a lot of issues but I can't help but be impressed with Barack and Michelle. I am a little iffy toward Biden, sometimes I don't think he remembers what side he is on. What can I say about Sarah Palin. I am not as horrified by her as some and I have to express a little appreciation for her Moxy. Girlfriend is certainly no wall flower. But I actually see a lot of similarities between she , Michelle, and Biden's wife-women who have to simultaneously dance to the rhythm of several drums while trying to keep all the spinning plates from falling.

For me I guess ultimately my faith is in my heavenly Father and I know that irregardless of who's in office ultimately 'All things will work together for Good'. This of course doesn't not mean I stick my head in the sand. I can honestly say however, it does keep me a little grounded and gives me a stabilizing sense of peace as I continue to negotiate this political labyrinth we are in.

So I'm going to continue reviewing my pros and cons regarding each candidate and all the propositions and fulfill my civic duty to make an informed decision. But I can't help but to keep fantasising about going to bed on Nov 4th and trusting God with the details.

Staying Foccussed

I have such a hard time staying focused. There are always things that I seem to be able to do without being distracted. I simply hunker down and 'get her done'. However, there are other things that just seem to be beyond my abilities. As a child I would often skimp on things and just get by. Without boasting I think I was a petty smart kid so for the most part I was able to get away with this. For example, I just thought it would take too much time to really remember which Way was right or left. I knew my heart was on the left so I just planned to always check for my heart if needed o figure out directions. Now obviously this did not pose serious problems for me but I Can certainly remember times when I had to covertly feel for my heart to know right from left and I was conscious of not letting other people know. I used to also sing in a choir. Instead of concentrating to be able to detect and sing the right note I would just listen to my neighbor and sing what they were singing. Now, even though I have a pretty good singing voice I often have great difficulty figuring out the right note and can sound one deaf.





I didn;t worry too much about this b/c for he most part it didin't bother me. There has been one major issue that I hve not been able to muster the wherewithal to accomplish and I wonder if this is due to my well hidden slackerness. Also, as I get older I find it harder and harder to ot worry about issues and just 'get her done' when I need to. More and more things tend to not get done. Like this blog. This is my seond post for the month although I want to blog everyday for the sheer joy of putting words on papaer on a dialy basis.



Oh well hope springs eternal(how's that for blowing things off). HELP!!!!!!

When I Get Back some butt will be kicked!!!!!

I overheard this little interesting tidbit spewed from the mouth of my six y/o. She and her five y/o brother were engaged in their inexhaustable game of school in which they have assigned roles and voices to all of their stuffed animals. It's hilarious listening to them and also a little scary. Often my husband and I ask ourselves, :Where do they get this stuff from?'. If they have said anything even remotely disturbing I quickly attribute it to my husband. It is obvious that even when your kids are sheltered and you think you have protected them from most negative influences they will often time display behavior or make statements that are completely foreign to you. I know this is obvious but they are their own persons who will eventually develop into a unique individual. That does not mean we don't have an influence. In fact we often have the biggest influence. But they will be influenced by things, people, and experiences that you have little control over.

In a way I am very pleased that my middle child is exhibiting an ability to assert herself and to kick butt if the need arrives. She can be very compliant and is very dependent on pleasing people like me and her teachers. She does not however seem like she will be a follower when it comes to her peers. She will often try to emulate her older sister but if it comes down to it she has no problem marching to the beat of her own drum even if she has to march alone.

I do wonder about how this assertiveness will ever be limited. I know for myself, I am very assertive but I can and do encounter those moments when I feel like I have lost my voice. I wonder who and in what situations will she limit her voice. I hope it is not about things that really matter.

Can I go to the Laundromat

Mom, "Can I go to the laundromat w/ .....".

This question was posed to me by my oldest on Friday evening. She was pleading with me and my husband to allow her to go to the laundromat w/ her friend. She thought it would be so cool. As I was looking at her I had to just chuckle at the irony of life. Growing up my family frequently experienced long stretches of time when we did not have a working washer/dryer. This required Saturday trips to the laundromat. Now although I often found this enjoyable b/c my mom would let me wander around the shopping center where the laundromat was located while she washed. I only had to show up to help fold. It was extremely inconvenient. I used to wander what it would be like to be in a family who were financially stable enough to always have a functioning washer/dryer. I was also a little embarassed about having to go to the laundromat when the majority of my friends didn't have this issue. So here I am comfortably enjoying the convenience of always having a functioning washer and happy that my kids don;t know the stress of having to drag tons of clothes to the laundromat every Saturday and my daughter is begging for the opportunity to go the the laundromat!!!.

This once again highlights the fact that the things we focus on as being indicative of being comfortable. Or the things that we promise ourselves we will do differently for our children in our quest to give them a better life than we had often times turn out to be pretty insignificant.

My husband and I looked at each other and had to share a chuckle b/c he too was familiar w the 'horor' of treking through the neighborhood to go washing while your friends were hanging out. I am far from perfect but I do try to periodically check my neurotic need to give my kids everything I never had. I try to remember that my experiences made me into the person I am today and if I had not gone through a couple of difficult periods I would not have learned how to both cope w/ life and to be grateful for the things God has blessed me with.

We didn't let her go but only b/c we weren't sure of how she would be supervised. We also had already planned to watch the Olympics opening ceremony w/ the family. Was that awesome or what. I was totally impressed w/ the ceremony. I tried real hard not to think of all the negative aspects of life in China. I could not stop myself from thinking that if any of the performers made a mistake would they be punished in some horrible fashion. Oh well, until next time.

My Christian Faith

Well, today we made it to church after doing quite a bit of housework. I was surprised we pulled it together and everybody was prepared to go in enough time to actually make it. Pastor Steve was not there but a guy who specializes in apologetics was there. He gave a very clear presentation on why Christians should respond to questions others have about the Word of God and how we should be adequately prepared to do so. I often struggle with this. Although I have been blessed to have sat under wonderful teaching throughout my Christian life and even though I myself have taught bible studies I don't feel that I always do a good job of defending the scriptures. I sometimes shy away almost as if I think I am not able to adequately defend my faith. Even with this blog I struggle with whether this should be a ministry tool or just a collection of my musings. I figure it will be a little of both. I am definitely a Christian in that I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that we were all born in sin as a direct result of Adam/Eve fallen in the Garden of Eden. As such the only way we could be reconciled to our original relationship with God our Father was through the sacrifice Jesus Christ made at Calvary in being crucified, dying, and rising again on the Third day. It was through his death and resurrection that I now have access to the Father. This death was a gift my saviour offered to me and I only had to accept it, repent of my sins, and believe in him as my saviour. As a result I can directly communicate with God and can have the confidence that my sins are forgiven and that when I die I will go to Heaven and live with my savior for ever...Within this life I can come to know my father personally by reading the bible and praying. It is through his word that I can come to know him more and to understand how to live my life in a way that is pleasing to him.

For me the Word of God provides the most useful heuristic for how to live my life and how to understand reality. It is not a stale antique book that is not relevant to modern times. Rather it is a living word that speaks directly to my life today and offers wisdom for how to live my daily life. I am not as disciplined as I can be but I read the Word of God and I listen to ministers who teach the Word of God on an almost daily basis.

As I continue to write this blog I will make it a point to try to reveal how I utilize the Word of God to live my life. The Word of God is basically how I retain my sanity in an insane world.

More importantly I don't think the Bible and my faith is just true for me because I choose to believe it. I believe it is the Truth. My challenge is to communicate this to a world and in a time when this assumption of Truth is not popular.

Whew! I pray that as you read if you choose to read that my life can be a living testimony of my faith. I'm sure if you have read my blogs you can sense that I am far from perfect. ?Well that's the beauty of Christianity it does not demand perfection it just demands that you strive for perfection by learning to rely less and less on your own power- but by learning to depend totally and completely on him

Responsibility

I am really struggling. I am supposed to be helping a group of folk from my highschool days plan our high school reuinion. We all decided to combine three graduating classess to shore up participation. I attended one meeting where only a few of us (only 3) showed up to try to get this thing going. I volunteered to do a few things to move it ahead one of which was to have my husband assist me in getting our registration forms online so folks could send their information in. I have yet to complete this task. I sometimes do things like this. Most of the time I am very responsible and pride myself on being a woman who gets things done. Sometimes, however, I'll come up against a committment I've made and I falter. Now sure I have good reason. I work full time, have three kids , a husband, and a dog, and sometimes I have so many plates spinning I'm surprised all of thiem don't come crashing down around me. But it really bugs me that I do this and in some weird way its like my own pathetic type of rebellion. Now I do have one major career thing that I have procratinated about for years that shall remain nameless. But why in the hell can't I just get this one darn registration form done. AAAGH!

Well I'm going to put it on my list and hopefully I can focus on it tomorrow at work. My fantasy is that I will be able to go to my office , close the door and actually get everything on my to do list done without having to deal with too many crisises tomorrow. Well wish me luck. I also wish I could committ to writing on this Blog every day. I wish I could also be faithful to WeightWatchers Online instead of giving them my money every month and not even logging on. Am I the only screw up out there. Oh well I've learned to give myself a break so I'm going to sign off before I have a true anxiety attack (just kidding). I do thank God that I can lean on his perfection rather than having to be perfect myself. I thank God that even when I feel down , he not only loves me but he is working on my behalf to grow me into who he would have me to be. I don't know if you rely on God like I do but I can honestly tell you that he is the only source of whatever sanity I have.

And the beat goes on.......

Nothing special today. The clock's sprang forward so of course I'm trying to figure out how to get the kiddos to understand that they are going to bed in an hour even though it will probably still be sunny. Fortunately a neighboring kid came by and they were able to play outside for an extended period of time. I worry about how different their lives are from when I was a kid. I would spend hours outside hanging out with may friends and making up all types of creative games. My kids don't have a lot of neighbors to play with primarily because of their schedule and and mostly because of the times we live in. I just can't let them run around care free. As aparent you have to be so careful and I admit sometimes paranoid. I think they pay the price. I gained a lof of independence and memories from my carefree days. Their opportunities to be carefree have to be scheduled via playdates which I am horrible at facilitating. I;m hoping when we move we can move to a more kid friendly place where they can have these opportunities.

I hung out with my girlfriends last night. We had a great time laughing sharing and commiserating about the state of the world. The hubby and I also had an aoooportunity to go out with another couple on Friday night on a real double date. So in short I had a fnatastic weekend.

MONDAY is however lurking closely by and I have to gear myself up for the week. I have to speak about our new program at some type of council meeting tomorrow and I am a little anxious to see how this will go. I think the council will be comprised of Domestic Violence advocates and I always find this group to be an interesting bunch. I of course am an avid supporter of women escaping those who thrive on their fear and subjugation but I also don't completely identify with this group of folk. It comes down to the chicken or the egg arguement. I have worked in substance abuse and mental health for years and have dealt with my fair share of trauamatized women. I just don't always agree that the dv that women experience always causes the other two as opposed to sometimes the DV being the result of the other two. This is a source of continual comflict with my colleagues and causes us to view the plight of our clients differently. Hopefully we can learn to agree to disagree and work collectivley to offer our women the help they need. I'll keep you posted.

Super Tuesday/Fat Tuesday

I casted my vote today so I'm feeling good about myself. I am actually registered as an independent and therefore could not vote in the republican primary. After explaining to kid#1 the importance of voting I hd to represent and not waste my vote so I opted to vote for the Democratic nominee. In retrospect I should have voted for the candidate most likely to loose to embolden the electability fo the republican candidate. To be truthful I am not very excited about any of the republican front runners so I decided to just vote for the democrat who most appealed to me. That ws Barrack. I am very suspicious of the Clintons and fel that they are one of the more unsavory exmples of politicians. So I anxiously await to see exctly how history is going to be changed this evening.

I am working from home this morning. I have a meeting I am dreading this afternoon. Excuse any spelling erors I can' seem to get the spell check to work and I am working on my laptop w/ the dysfunctional keyboars so bare with e. Stevie Wonder just called to say that he loved me and to encourage me to vote for Obama. I guess I should feel better about my choice. At any rate I'll try to write more. I have issues with consistency and committment at this stage in my life so I will do the best that I can.