Update

It's been a while. I am currently reflecting on the issue of death. Unless you are a hermit living under a rock you know that Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon died. Pitchman , Billy Mayes, also died suddenly. My father is in his home town to sit in vigil at his brother's bedside b/c he could very well pass away at any moment. I am currently going through some stress at work because a client died after leaving our facility. So basically death is on the brain. I am at a weird place. I of course take comfort in what my belief system promises as it relates to death- absent from the body present with the Lord. But I can't help but to just feel a strange sense of detachment about all this death. I have to admit despite my recent feelings about MJ-the whole paedophilia am I white/black/ or alien thing-I actually felt sad about his death. You cannot deny that he was one helluva performer. I can still remember him doing the Billy Jean thing at the Motown awards. His music is a work of art.
I think I am contemplating my own mortality. I am at that age where you have left the feelings of immortality and now realize that at some point life may go own without you. That is sobering. I know that one day my parents won't be there when I call. Worse I know one day my husband or I will depart this scene and one of us will have to go on without the other one.

I also wonder with all the insane posturing of the N. Koreans if America will once again have to deal with a major catastrophe like 911. I mean these people are scaring. We unfortunately have gotten used to Muslim wackos promising to wipe Israel off the face of the world but it is quite another for another super power to make this claim. This threat seems worse than the cold war because their don't appear to be any rules of engagement. It is like we are dealing with a situation where we cannot realistically make any valid predictions about how the leadership of this country will act. Those fantasies of sipping Mai Tai's off the Big Island don't seem so attractive all of a sudden.

I do however take comfort in the fact that God is sovereign and that he actually has everything in control. This keeps me from totally freaking out. However even though I do know how the final play will go I am a little anxious about the plays in the interim. Let's face it although I ultimately pray that I will always maintain my strong faith I don't ever really want anything bad to happen to me or my family. Our pastor preached about Joseph and how we can sometimes face unwarranted tribulation and that we may not always even understand the purpose of trials we may undergo but we have to yet commit ourselves to Christ and his purpose and stay faithful nonetheless. Although this is scary I am strengthened by acknowledging that if some difficult task is part of God's will than I am better off going through it then stepping our of his will to avoid the trial.

My prayer is not only that I remain faithful in hard times but that I also began to act upon my faith by evangelizing others.