So, I received three frantic calls during my drive in to work. I couldn't answer them because my blue tooth was at home uncharged. I had already received a $160 ticket for conducting pressing work business on a cell phone while driving right after the initiating of the new cell phone/texting while driving laws. Anyway, I continue driving trying to avoid thinking about who might have called, whether or not there was yet another crisis brewing, had another client decided to run away, or better yet was there some other bureaucratic nonsense that I needed to handle right away. Thank God for Steve Harvey on the radio. Listening to him and Mo'Nique do their thing was allowing me some relief. But alas, to soon, I arrive at my destination. I first have to circle the block and darn near stalk people to find a parking space. Sure enough, as soon as I park and exit the car, my cell phone rings. Crap!!! Now I don't have any excuse to not respond.
"Hello"
"Does tne new clients have any meds I need to get when I pick her up from the jail?'
"What client? Who is this?"
And we are off to the races. I semi-manage a non profit, mental health program for re-entry women and children who are dealing with domestic violence, mental health issues, and substance abuse. I say sem9manage because there was a recent new staffing plan that was implemented that has left me with a lot of responsibility and no definitive title or commiserate salary to even remotely compensate me for my time. Welcome to non-profit work.
By the time I get in the office everyone is busy working. I turn on my computer to check e-mails and have to make 7 or 8 seemingly life and death decisions before I can even read my first e-mail. The phone keeps ringing....
"Why the hell have I not got my paycheck yet?"
"Why did we call the other facility expecting that psychiatrist to actually follow up with a client they assessed. They were only doing us a favor. they were not expecting to actually have to provide a refill for the client's medication. Haven't we hooked her up with another psychiatrist?"
Hmmm!!, Let's see. Surely I should have a bunch of psychiatrists in my back pocket who are willing to see an uninsured, seriously mentally ill client, with a drug history. Further more perhaps you should have allowed me to follow through with our original plan to send her to the emergency psychiatric care which we have always used. but no. You insisted on intervening in a situation you had no intention of following through with just so you could feel like you were actually doing your job. Who cares that your unnecessary intervention has now made the situation worse and that you now have the gall to call me and inquire why I have not puled a rabbit our of a hat to remedy these insane situation..
BREATHING....SLOW BREATHING.
This is the reality of middle management in a non-profit. It may perhaps be the same everywhere but I wonder if anyplace is this strange.
Did I mention that none of these decisions are supposed to officially be my responsibility? Why are people then calling me expecting me to be able to account for all this craziness.
There is of course little reminders of why I do what I do. Like the young client coming to my office letting me know that she knows her behavior has been inappropriate but that she is really trying to do better. I look at her and can honestly feel her sincerity. this client has a long road ahead of her. Very young w/ a felony, drug history, about to lose her child, and with emotional issues that result in out of control behavior periodically.
Oh my Goodness, it's only 10am. Why can't I live somewhere where they practice daily siestas. I definitely need one.
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