Jennifer Hudson Tragedy

I spent the last couple of days hoping against hope that the Jennifer Hudson story would not develop into a tragedy beyond comprehension. Like a lot o you I could not stop constantly checking for updates to the story while becoming increasingly despondent as the story emerged, This was particularly poignant for me as a manger of domestic violence programs for a non=profit that specializes in addressing the specific needs of women. Lately myself and my colleagues have been involved in a never ending discussion of how to provide support for dv victims while still dealing with some of the accompanying casualties that sometimes present themselves. Specifically the children and family of these women and the impact of this tragedy on them. While I don't ever and we strongly advocate that others don't blame the victim for the violence she may be experiencing. It is often true that while they are in the process of dealing with their abuser some of their decisions do endanger their children and loved ones. Now sure it is not her fault that some wacko has a need to exert such control over her that he is often willing to hurt those she loves to hurt her. But it is a fact that she is often the one who although unwittingly, invites this abuser into the lives of those who he subsequently harms. Also, while she is attempting to gain the strength to separate, her family often rushes into protect her and thus become further embroiled in a fatal relationship dance that often has her returning over and over to the man her family has sometimes risked life and limb to help her separate from.
I know , I know. It is not her fault. Trust me I know this and it is that awareness that propels me to walk alongside women who are simply trying to regain their power. But I do cringe when she talks about her kid cowering in the door way while she is abused. Or the kid who has begun to prosper in shelter treatment withdrawing into a shell as they recognize that mommy is going back. Who is to blame for them. Or more importantly who is responsible for protecting them.
I know from personal experience that the end result of the fatal dance of dv is tragedy not only for the women but also death and destruction for her family. I also know that as you try to recover after he hurts or kills the innocent in his effort to hurt her it is hard not to look at her and scream, 'Why the hell did you not leave before this happened.'
I don't know if the Jenifer tragedy will emerge as an actual domestic violence tragedy, but I know it only graphically exacerbates the conflict that I feel as I strive to support her while trying to figure out how to help the other innocent bystanders.

Election Fatigue

I am so hoping that we could magically transport ourselves to 9 or 10 pm Nov 4, 2008 and be done with the presidential election and all the controversial propositions that are on the ballot. This has truly gone on for too long. As an independent, I am simply worn out by having to weigh the various positions of each candidate. Every time I come to a decision some late breaking news flash will cause me to have to reconsider my decision in light of the newest information. While I am certainly happy that we have access to so much information to equip us to make a more informed decision there comes a time when a lot more transforms into too much. Information overload. I am a frequent utilizer of the Internet but I am certainly not obsessed or consumed as others are. But even I sometimes feel tethered to the web and unable to avoid reading every newsworthy or often newsworthiless tidbit about the candidates. Truly this is perhaps the most exciting election in history. It is also the most historically significant election given Barack and Sarah Palin. But I can't help feeling that the country has never been more divided, the parties have never been more antagonistic , and the lines in the sand have never been more clearly drawn than now. While this is probably going to fuel the biggest voter turnout in history it is also a little scary. I often used to watch news coverage of domestic strife in other countries where members of opposing political parties or religious affiliations would become so opposed to each other's point of view and so rabidly committed to their own perspective that they would resort to violence directed toward the other side. I would snicker, chuckle and think what's wrong with those people. We here in American would never stoop so low. Well now I'm not so sure. We have heard snippets of attacks against McCain supporters and Obama supporters. Most of these have been refuted. But I don't know about you but the mere suggestion of such an occurrence is alarming. I can't help but to wonder where is this all headed.

As an independent I pride myself on being able to be objective about both sides. Now I do have very strong views on most of the pressing issues such as the economy, gay marriage, role of government, health care, abortion, education, etc. But, I also can understand people who have opposing views. I don't agree with them but neither do I think holding a particular view makes them worthy of my scorn and derision.

Living in Southern California and working in the mental health field, I have to admit that the majority of my observations regarding how radically committed people are to their views are of liberal democrats. I do however listen to Conservative radio and I can honestly say that there is no lack of myopic thinking on their part either. I often want to scream, 'Can't we all just get along?'

Let me just say I have vacillated between McCain and Obama. I tend toward McCain regarding a lot of issues but I can't help but be impressed with Barack and Michelle. I am a little iffy toward Biden, sometimes I don't think he remembers what side he is on. What can I say about Sarah Palin. I am not as horrified by her as some and I have to express a little appreciation for her Moxy. Girlfriend is certainly no wall flower. But I actually see a lot of similarities between she , Michelle, and Biden's wife-women who have to simultaneously dance to the rhythm of several drums while trying to keep all the spinning plates from falling.

For me I guess ultimately my faith is in my heavenly Father and I know that irregardless of who's in office ultimately 'All things will work together for Good'. This of course doesn't not mean I stick my head in the sand. I can honestly say however, it does keep me a little grounded and gives me a stabilizing sense of peace as I continue to negotiate this political labyrinth we are in.

So I'm going to continue reviewing my pros and cons regarding each candidate and all the propositions and fulfill my civic duty to make an informed decision. But I can't help but to keep fantasising about going to bed on Nov 4th and trusting God with the details.