Never Smug Again

I am now in the process of appealing the decision of the Employment Development Office to deny my employment claim for the last two weeks of July. I had the gall to make a mistake on my claim for. I exacerbated this egregious action by attempting to white-out the wrong answer and to then indicate the correct answer. Apparently this mistake generated a letter scheduling an interview with me to clarify this issue before my check for these two weeks was released. The plot thickens. After a grueling 4 hour job interview on Thursday, I left town for a previously scheduled vacation with the family. Now mind you I took my computer and continued to monitor job leads and to apply to promising leads. Unfortunately the letter came after we had left on Friday. The interview was scheduled for Thursday of the next week. Given that i did not return until Friday , I missed my interview. Upon learning of my mistake I quickly contacted the EDD office via phone an e-mail. I was basically told that I had to wait for a letter for any further information regarding this issue. In the interim, I received my claim form for the subsequent weeks along with a receipt stating that I would receive 0 dollars for the weeks in question. Oh, I was advised by one reluctant EDD worker to use a pencil on my future forms so a mistake could be more easily remedied. I finally received my letter re: this issue on yesterday and was promptly instructed that my claim had been denied and that I wold have to file an appeal to address this situation. I quickly completed the appeal and plan to mail it in the morning.

Now a few things came to mind as a result of this experience. It reminded me of the fact that keeping up with paperwork and requirements to secure aid from any governmental agency is often a job unto itself. Working in social services for years I can admit to feeling a certain sense of superiority when clients are applying for benefits or when their benefits are interrupted for some cause. I often tried to feel a little empathy for them but honestly I think I like a lot of people felt like the least 'they' could do was comply with whatever requirements to keep those 'free' checks from rolling in. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I really needed that money and I was upset when I realized that due to a minor mistake I was experiencing a disruption in the flow of my finances. Now fortunately, I have other resources and this check was not the determinant of whether or not I ate that night but I quickly recognized that oftentimes keeping up with the requirements to keep the checks flowing is like working a full-time job.

Of course some believe that it should be difficult to access these funds that our tax benefits generate. Maybe, but I can honestly tell you that I will never be so smug and judgemental again.

Aluta Continua

Fast forward a few months. I was laid off from my job effective June 30th. I can honestly say I have enjoyed my summer- at least when I am not freaking out about my career. I have spent a lot of time with my kids and husband. We have been doing pretty well financially. I can't afford to buy anything I want but basically, the bills are paid and we have not been starving. We even managed a small vacation in Vegas. Things may be a little dicey until November but we are okay. I have been applying for jobs. I was very close to securing a very lucrative job that would have enabled me to work from home but after a very arduous application process, I was not chosen. This was very upsetting. I have since applied for for several jobs and had an interview for one. Things are really bad in the job marker. I remember interviewing candidates for positions at my last job and being struck by how people were applying for jobs they were clearly overqualified for but were nonetheless willing to take just to be able to work. Now I am in the same boat. Employers are becoming very demanding of applicants which is very difficult. For example, many companies are beginning to review credit reports. This seems illogical when you account for the fact that the longer people are our of work the less likely they will be able to keep up with their bills. I hope I sewed good seeds in how I handled candidates so hopefully I will reap some rewards.

My dilemma is that I need to move to the next level in order to command they type of job I want. This means completing my dissertation. I contacted a dissertation coach-kind of like a life coach for the dissertation process. Their rates aren't bad but given that I don't have an income, I am a little concerned. I am most concerned with paying this money and God forbid not finishing. Can you tell that I have major issues regarding this issue and that I have ceased to become my normal aggressive self when it comes to my dissertation. I feel like I obviously need help with this process yet I find myself hesitant to proceed. Also, during my free consultation with the consultant she suggested that I not start over completely but rather address the concerns in my current dissertation project. This is probably the best advice but it heightens my anxiety since I have so many negative feelings associated with this project. So, clearly I have a lot to figure out. I do want to try writing about something for two hours everyday to prove to myself that I can still pull it together to focus on a task and execute it before I start shelling out the money. Obviously, finishing my doctorate degree would significantly open up the job market for me.

I also need to learn Spanish. Now I have a lot of mixed feelings bout this. From an ethical issue it is much better to familiarize yourself as much as possible with a particular culture in order to effectively treat members of this culture. However, as an American citizen I am not that crazy about the fact that my ability to get a job is tied to my ability to speak a foreign language. I would estimate that at least 30-40% of the jobs in social services require bilingual skills. This coupled with the immigration debate coming from the state legislature in Arizona is another whole level of stress that I am resisting the urge to tackle right now.

I think I will also investigate an online Spanish and perhaps substance abuse program to furhter enhance my skill set.

Obviously, I need much prayer for direction, guidance, inspiration, and comfort. Until next time.