'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope, Jeremiah 29:11
I have been a Christian for a long time so you would think that I would be beyond harboring doubt about God's love for me. Certainly, even if I doubted His love, I would not harbor thoughts that He has bad intentions toward me, Well, unfortunately, if I am honest with myself I sometimes experience anxiety related to God and His feelings toward me and His intentions for me. I don't doubt that He is all powerful. I just sometimes wonder if He plans to use His mightiness for my benefit.
Although I have been blessed tremendously throughout my life, I have had some painful, traumatic experiences when I wondered where God was or wether or not He was paying attention to my situation. Usually, I imagined that no one else was going through what I was experiencing and thus I was somehow being singled out. A lot of these notions stemmed from a very one sided acceptance of the Word of God and all that it reveals about the personhood of God. I viewed God as being omnipotent, omnipresent, omnicient, etc. so it therefore followed that if everything was not kosher in my life at a particular time then God was choosing to allow me to go through these things and choosing not to miraculously intervene.
It's important to note that I was raised in the Pentecostal church where testifying was a well developed art. The saints would dramatically tell of the goodness of Jesus and just as dramatically talk about all the evil deeds of the devil. Now, the saints were always ultimately delivered from the evil plots of satan and the Lord always showed up right on time. I was very influenced by this. I remember rejoicing with the saints that with the Lord's help they had overcome but I was always curious as to why the Lord just didn't prevent them from having any negative experiences at all. I also secretly wanted God to keep me from evil altogether.
As a student of the Word, I know that we live in a sinful world and that we will suffer trials and tribulations as a result. I also know and believe that 'All things work together for good for those who are called according to His will.' I also realize that our faith is often tested in order that we might grow stronger in our faith. But I had to remind myself today that God takes no pleasure in our struggles. Nor does He have any ill intent toward us. It is illogical that He would send His only Son to die for our sins in order that He might have a real relationship with us just to spend time and energy trying to cause us harm. So, if I am going through a difficult time and if my current situation does not seem to be working out, I need to remeber that God ultimately desires the best for me. I have to reflect on the Foot prints poem and recognize that His is always with me. Sometimes He walks beside me and I can feel His presence and sometimes He carries me and I might not be aware that he is there.
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope, Jeremiah 29:11
This passage in Jeremiah is such a comfort to me. First of all God is thinking of me. this is incredible when we think of how great He is and how insignificant we are. Not only is He thinking of me but he has plans for me to benefit and not to suffer calamity. I of course have to put this in a spiritual perspective but I can take comfort in knowing that the Creator of the universe is thinking good thoughts and making good plans for me. Awww, that feels better already.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Jealousy
According to Wikipedia, Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. According to the same source jealousy should not be confused with envy which is (also called invidiousness) is best defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."[1]
Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.[2
Both feelings are extremely destructive and have plagued mankind since Cain and Abel's tumultuous relationship in the begining of time. I have been thinking a lot about these issues during my current difficulties. I have always priding myself on bein a confident person who genuinely enjoys the successes of others and wishes them only the best. However, I must admit that I have had to put forth extra effort to avoid these feelings taking root in my psyche over the past several months. This has been very stressful because I genuinely believe that my life is guided and directed by God and that He will provide for me everything I am intended to have. So I don't need to worry about what others have and what others have accomplished because it does not affect me. But, I can feel the little green-eyed monster creeping up from time -to-time and I have to consciously talk myself out of these feelings. These feelings remind me of the fact that even though someone might be a Christian, we deal with a daily battle of not allowing ourself to fall into a pattern of sin. We are very susceptible to harboring sinful feelings like envy and jealousy and we can't always automatically not be tempted by these issues. So what do you do when you feel disturbing thoughts and feelings creeping into your mind.
1) The first step is to recognize that you are actually experiencing jealousy and envy. This seems simple but it actually might require a little insight into your own psyche. The jealousy and envy may mask themselves as irritation or undue criticism of the other person. You may also find yourself searching for some quality within the other person that you can feel a sense of superiority regarding. For example, you may repsond to news of another person's career sucess by focussing on their lack of a spous or children. It is crucial to be brutally honest with yourself and acknowledge that their sucess makes your current lack of sucess fell magnified and that you feel negative emotions toward the other person as a result.
2) Don't act on these feelings. You will need to give yourself some time to work through these feelings so it is important that you don't engage in any negative behavior that may be based on these feelings. You should not respond negatively to the person. You should not communicate your negative feelings to another third party. You should not take any actions to bring the other individual down a notch. It is normal to feel tempted but it is not okay to act out your temptation. Besides, you want to get a handle on these feelings before they begin to impact your behavior.
3) Ask yourself the ultimate question, ' How does this make me feel about myself?' This is a huge questions and it may cause you some distress. If you have difficulty doing this on your own, you may want to consult a trusted confidant and/or a counselor. I would spend conSIderable time sitting with this issue. Personally, I would spend significant time in prayer and reading my Bible. As a Christian, it is at this point that I would repent of these feelings. Repent means to acknowledge your sin, ask God to forgive you, ask for help to change your feelings, and to go on with the intention to not repeat the sin.
4) Take whatever steps necessary to improve your own situation so you will have less impetus to feel jealous and envious of others. Focussing on your own self-improvement also focusses your mind on more positive emotions and enables you to spend less time and enerygy worrying about others.
5) You can reapply these steps repetitively until they become routine.
Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.[2
Both feelings are extremely destructive and have plagued mankind since Cain and Abel's tumultuous relationship in the begining of time. I have been thinking a lot about these issues during my current difficulties. I have always priding myself on bein a confident person who genuinely enjoys the successes of others and wishes them only the best. However, I must admit that I have had to put forth extra effort to avoid these feelings taking root in my psyche over the past several months. This has been very stressful because I genuinely believe that my life is guided and directed by God and that He will provide for me everything I am intended to have. So I don't need to worry about what others have and what others have accomplished because it does not affect me. But, I can feel the little green-eyed monster creeping up from time -to-time and I have to consciously talk myself out of these feelings. These feelings remind me of the fact that even though someone might be a Christian, we deal with a daily battle of not allowing ourself to fall into a pattern of sin. We are very susceptible to harboring sinful feelings like envy and jealousy and we can't always automatically not be tempted by these issues. So what do you do when you feel disturbing thoughts and feelings creeping into your mind.
1) The first step is to recognize that you are actually experiencing jealousy and envy. This seems simple but it actually might require a little insight into your own psyche. The jealousy and envy may mask themselves as irritation or undue criticism of the other person. You may also find yourself searching for some quality within the other person that you can feel a sense of superiority regarding. For example, you may repsond to news of another person's career sucess by focussing on their lack of a spous or children. It is crucial to be brutally honest with yourself and acknowledge that their sucess makes your current lack of sucess fell magnified and that you feel negative emotions toward the other person as a result.
2) Don't act on these feelings. You will need to give yourself some time to work through these feelings so it is important that you don't engage in any negative behavior that may be based on these feelings. You should not respond negatively to the person. You should not communicate your negative feelings to another third party. You should not take any actions to bring the other individual down a notch. It is normal to feel tempted but it is not okay to act out your temptation. Besides, you want to get a handle on these feelings before they begin to impact your behavior.
3) Ask yourself the ultimate question, ' How does this make me feel about myself?' This is a huge questions and it may cause you some distress. If you have difficulty doing this on your own, you may want to consult a trusted confidant and/or a counselor. I would spend conSIderable time sitting with this issue. Personally, I would spend significant time in prayer and reading my Bible. As a Christian, it is at this point that I would repent of these feelings. Repent means to acknowledge your sin, ask God to forgive you, ask for help to change your feelings, and to go on with the intention to not repeat the sin.
4) Take whatever steps necessary to improve your own situation so you will have less impetus to feel jealous and envious of others. Focussing on your own self-improvement also focusses your mind on more positive emotions and enables you to spend less time and enerygy worrying about others.
5) You can reapply these steps repetitively until they become routine.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Budgeting Woes!!!
Decided to start off my Saturday with an exhilarating activity...Not. I wanted to get a better handle on where all of our money is going. According to the nutrition services department of my children's school we make to much money to qualify for free or reduced lunches. As a result my children also cannot take advantage of the free tutoring services offered through the school district. Wow, it must be great being so well off. Hmmmm!, I wonder why I don't feel so rich. Our financial picture probably looks like a lot of folks. You make financial obligations when you are making much more money and have to continue to carry these obligations when your income decreases. I am re-realizing an important financial lesson. Only do what you can pay for and do not get into debt. Now if only my today voice could go back and scream at my yesterday reality. No such luck. I am trying to figure out how and where we can cut back. My daughter is able to take advantage of a free after school program and I don't want to give this up b/c when I return to work this will be a huge financial plus. In the meantime, however, I think it's costing us too much in gas b/c she is obligated to stay there 9 hrs a week so this means I bring the 'babies' home after school and my husband goes back to pick her up. Their school district is a 20 minute drive on the freeway.
After trying to categorize things I had to use a miscellaneous category. This made sense until the numbers started to add up significantly. I'm not sure how else you would categorize expenses that are not routine but nevertheless come up. Things like school pictures, paying the handyman to fix the toilet and the dryer, those pesky co-pays, and prescription refills. I guess I should come up with home maintenance categories and medical expenses categories. Some months however, I don't need to spend any extra money in these areas. As I am typing this I realize, I should probably set aside money every month so I am not hit with a huge expense at one time. Wow, writing this out is actually helping to clarify this budgeting process. At any rate, I am at the end and the numbers are not adding up. I think an online program like quicken would be beneficial. We were using a free one online but I think it ended when it became clear that we were not going to pay for any actual software.
GRRRRRRR!!!......, where is a free accountant when you need one.
After trying to categorize things I had to use a miscellaneous category. This made sense until the numbers started to add up significantly. I'm not sure how else you would categorize expenses that are not routine but nevertheless come up. Things like school pictures, paying the handyman to fix the toilet and the dryer, those pesky co-pays, and prescription refills. I guess I should come up with home maintenance categories and medical expenses categories. Some months however, I don't need to spend any extra money in these areas. As I am typing this I realize, I should probably set aside money every month so I am not hit with a huge expense at one time. Wow, writing this out is actually helping to clarify this budgeting process. At any rate, I am at the end and the numbers are not adding up. I think an online program like quicken would be beneficial. We were using a free one online but I think it ended when it became clear that we were not going to pay for any actual software.
GRRRRRRR!!!......, where is a free accountant when you need one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)